She wonders how long it will take to figure out who she is. Having learned a lot about the world and people, She has a desire to know herself. Craving it and fearing it. Fear of the change is what holds her back and fear of failure. Not so much failing herself but those who love her. She knows that she is strong enough to fall and get back up, but is everybody else willing continue to love her? Desiring to try and fail at many different ventures is intriguing to her. Spending so much time worrying about everyone and everything else, there is no spiritual connection within her. She has never known how to love her self and doubts her capacity to love back. Shes loves, just not with all her heart. She desires the power of love. Will she every know it’s true depth? The severity in which she needs it?
But how does she go about developing this? What is it that she needs to learn about herself that can change this? How can she be her own definition of successful and happy?
She is so afraid of the world. She has seen evil and how it makes people suffer. Physically, spiritually and emotionally. She has felt it’s gripping force that will freeze your very being in fear. She knows in her heart that love is stronger but can not imagine it’s true intensity. Knowing where not to find it, she continues on her search.
(P.S. I wrote this in December on Tumblr. I never got any traffic or followers through Tumblr no matter what I did. I am now reposting my Tumblr post here instead.)